Last Friday Night
by Reizna
Summary: Saturday afternoon, Kurasame has one question for his blood-shot eyed students: What did you all do last night? / Because we're all dying to know what they do at the start of their weekends.
1. Prelude: Who Wants To Start?

Dedicated to Yuki Minamoto, even though this isn't what she requested. This is the apology fic I wrote for her. Her requested fic will be coming shortly.

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy Type-0. And this was written before the actual game came out. If I owned the said game, part of the game would be a dating sim and the fic I'm about to write would probably happen game-wise.

* * *

><p><strong>Prelude<strong>

**Saturday Afternoon – The Day After –**

Kurasame stared down each one of his students, who were lined up in front of his desk. Each one fidgeted in their respective spots, their gazes to the floor.

Ace was scratching the back of his neck, his hair disheveled. His expression was tired as if he had a lack of sleep. Beside him, Deuce was clinging to his arm, her head resting on his shoulder and sound asleep.

Trey looked uncomfortable as if he was going to run to the bathroom anytime soon; he looked quite sick. Then, Cater was glaring at Trey, her expression saying something along the lines of 'if you puke on me, you'd dead'.

Cinque was just a hot mess, her makeup running and her cheeks tear-stained as if she had been crying hysterically. And next to her, Sice was…SMILING. What the hell was the world coming to?

Seven yawned and rubbed her tired eyes, before leaning on Eight, who shrugged her off. Seven proceeded to pass out on the floor. No one dared to move to help her up as she began snoring.

And then, Kurasame's eyes fell on Nine. Of course, it would be him.

This particular blonde, at first glance, looked the same as always – unkempt hair, uniform blazer open and un-buckled, but Kurasame noticed the stupid aviator glasses covering his eyes and bite marks all over the base of his neck. Their instructor cocked an eyebrow and glanced over to his pet Tonberry, who pretty much shrugged.

Returning to his students, Kurasame stared at Jack, who was more nervous than usual. He was jumpy. And then beside the usually cheery swordsman, the Class President stood in a slight daze with reddened cheeks and similar bite marks on her neck. He could put two and two together.

Next to Queen was…King.

Wait, what? Where was-? Kurasame glanced to the floor, where King was kneeling and mumbling to himself that he was failure, how he was trash. Curiously, the Icy Blade of Death, Instructor Kurasame, folded his arms and asked the dread questions to his students.

"What do you all do last night?"

The students who were relatively conscious blinked and lifted a finger to point at Nine. "IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA."

Kurasame chuckled. Of course, it would be the class idiot.

"Guys, shut up! I have a massive headache from this morning." Nine complained.

"Liar!" cried Ace. "You were giving us a massive headache earlier, kicking us out of the guy's room to have happy time with-"

"ACE, YOU ARE NOT HELPING WITH THE HEADACHES." Cater shouted.

And people who ere asleep did not stir. Everyone else winced at shot-gun girl's volume – which was completely unnecessary.

"What?" Kurasame asked, knowing full well what that could have meant.

"Okay, this is what happened this morning." Eight began to explain.

* * *

><p><strong>Saturday Morning – the Day After, Right Before the Prefects Found Everyone –<strong>

_Ace and Eight were still semi-normal when dawn broke. Shot glasses and red party cups were on every table in their common room. Various bottles of alcohol were found in various places. Deuce and Seven were passed out on one of the couches. Sice was laughing at King while King sat in the corner, being a bit emo._

_Cinque had passed out on her way up the stairs to the girl's side of the dorm. Trey – Ace & Eight assumed – had passed out in the guy's bathroom. Meanwhile, the Class President and Idiot had disappeared somewhere._

"_Do you think she's…lecturing him on alcohol abuse?"_

"_No, I think it's about smuggling alcohol into school grounds."_

_Ace and Eight looked at each other before a light bulb lit in their heads. "Wanna go eavesdrop?"_

_Okay, the alcohol was slightly talking, but they were curious. On their way up to the boy's side, they heard noises – not just any noises, but…highly sexual noises. Ace and Eight looked at each other, color draining from their faces._

_Just no way._

_It couldn't be._

_Against their better judgment, they burst through the door and found exactly what they thought: Nine on top of Queen, sans clothes and drenched in sweat, with a mere blanket covering up the lower half of Nine's back._

"_HOLY MAKER. FAL'CIE DAMMIT."_

"_NEVER WANT TO SEE THAT EVER AGAIN." _

* * *

><p>"You are such a cockblock sometimes." Nine commented, not so upset about being interrupted earlier that morning.<p>

"You NEED a cockblock sometimes." Ace shot back.

"Unfortunately, his cockblock became his-" Trey was cut off by Kurasame.

"Back to the matter at hand, I need to know what exactly what you all did. That way, I can find an appropriate punishment for all of you." Their instructor shook his head, sighing. "Who wants to start?"

* * *

><p>Inspired by Yuki Minamoto's A Teacher's Plight: Nine and the snippet below.<p>

_"The dorms we live in aren't for partying..."_

_Nine scoffed loudly, causing Kurasame to wonder curiously on what these kids did after their classes were done._

WARNING: This may resemble a typical college dorm party. And there will be lots of stupid references; if you don't know them, it's okay. So read at your own risk. And don't say I didn't warn you. And I really hope I don't have to up the rating for certain very faint implications of certain things. Now, enjoy. Or cringe due to OOC-ness.

Soooo what did you guys think? Hope you enjoyed this.


	2. How Nine Got the Alcohol

**Chapter 1: How Nine Got the Alcohol (and What Happened to Rem & Machina)**

**Friday Afternoon – Before all Classes End –**

"_IT'S FRIDAY. FRIDAY. GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY."_

"_NINE—"_

"_EVERYBODY'S LOOKING FORWARD TO DA WEEEEKEND. WEEEEKEND."_

"_WHAT ARE YOU?"_

"_PARTYING PARTYING, YEAH."_

"_STUPID!"_

"_PARTYING, PARTYING—"_

"_NO!"_

"_YEAH. FUN FUN. FUN. FUN."_

"_WILL YOU STOP SUPPORTING REBECCA BLACK AND HER HORRIBLE SONG?" _

_Queen, as she stormed off, let out a scream of pure frustration, holding her delicate ears. What had gotten him to excited? It was a regular Friday night. Whatever, she had a report to finish early. If she wanted to beat Ace for the valedictorian spot, she would have to get a perfect score. She retreated into the library, not realizing Nine had a smirk on his face as she departed._

* * *

><p>"He was singing that horrible song?"<p>

Kurasame stared at Queen, who had spoken up and finally snapped back into character. She had used her cape to hide her neck and avoided her instructor's gaze by staring at the floor.

"Yes, sir." She fidgeted before shyly glancing at the spear-wielder, with whom she shared an intimate moment with earlier. "I believe this part's yours."

* * *

><p><strong>Friday Afternoon – After Queen Left –<strong>

_She hadn't realized what his intentions were this particular Friday night._

_Nine watched her disappear down the hall. And when she was completely out of sight, he turned to see a certain sky pirate. This suave pirate, a former noble, had access to what Nine needed; and being a family friend, this pirate owed Nine a few favors. This was one of the times he would call him up for it._

"_Say, Balthier, why is the rum always gone?" Nine suddenly asked, his smirk still in tact._

"_By the gods, Nine, it's Ashelia." The sky pirate scowled at the name. "She doesn't look like it, but she can drink her bloody weight. She's always drinking my stash. Better her than Vaan though. There's no telling what he'd do."_

"_Did you bring anything at least?"_

"_Already smuggled and waiting in your room."_

"_Thanks."_

"_I believe this is the last of the favors." The auburn-haired sky pirate then looked around upon hearing footsteps. It was his cue to leave. With a small gesture, Balthier vanished. He wouldn't get caught. His partner Fran was looking out for him. Besides, everyone except Class Zero was still in lecture._

_Nine rubbed his hands together. Tonight was going to be a fun night._

* * *

><p>"You called in a favor from a notorious sky pirate?" The rest of Class Zero asked incredulously.<p>

Nine nodded.

"A sky pirate by the name of Balthier Bunansa." Kurasame reaffirmed. "And how praytell did you manage to get a hold of him?"

"Secret." Nine snickered.

"Of course, because the entire continent of Orience is after him, including the Arcadian and Rozzarian Empires AND the Kingdom of Dalmasca from the Continent of Ivalice in the Far West." Eight mumbled cynically.

Kurasame called his Tonberry up to his desk, where Class Zero could see them. "Could you please explain why he owes you favors?"

Nine gulped as he felt everyone's stares. Fear coursed through his veins as he watched the Tonberry lift its dangerous knife. "BECAUSE I HAD A JAR OF DIRT. HE WAS FLEEING FROM THE SKY PIRATES' EQUIVALENT OF DAVY JONES. I WAS ELEVEN AT THE TIME, OKAY. PIRATES ARE COOLER THAN NINJAS."

…

"OH. EM. GEE." It was Cinque, who spoke up. "YOU DID NOT JUST SAY PIRATES WERE COOLER THAN NINJAS."

"Pirates, dammit." King mumbled without breaking his drunken emo image. Everyone made a note to never give King any alcohol ever again.

"Ninjas!" cried Jack and Eight.

"You're biased." Queen retorted. "You and Eight are the closest things we have to ninjas!"

"What about you, Class President? Are you a little biased too?" Sice hiccupped. "After all, you had a taste of Nine."

No one even dared to make that joke when they were on the way to see Kurasame.

The Class President said nothing and covered her flaring cheeks. (Everyone thanked all the fal'Cie for the alcohol still present in her system. Otherwise, someone was going to die.)

"Sice, I liked it better when you didn't talk much." Nine commented.

There were some things that he did NOT need to know about his students – like their sex lives for that matter. Kurasame fought the urge to facepalm and the decision to just let loose his Tonberry on them. Summoning all his will power to prevent him from doing just that, he cleared his throat. "Back to the subject…"

Crazy kids.

Speaking of these crazy kids, Kurasame just realized they were missing the transfer students.

"Where are Rem and Machina?"

"Ohhhhhhhhh," replied a chorus of voices. "Right about that, they're…"

And right on cue, the said transfer students could be heard running through the halls outside their classroom.

"REM! HOLY FAL'CIE. PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON."

"BUT MACHINAAAAAAAA, NINE SAID YOU COULD MAKE ME FEEL GOOD."

"REM. THIS IS TOO FAST."

"Oooh, I betcha like it fast!"

"NINE, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL-?"

"WHY ARE YOU CALLING FOR NINE WHEN I'M HERE AND READY FOR YOU?"

Too much information. TMI. TMI. TMI, Kurasame's mind screamed. He did not need to know about his students' sex lives. The instructor glanced at his faithful pet, who nodded and hopped off the desk, proceeding in silence to the hallway outside. The couple outside then ceased their dialogue, which was then replaced with two blood-hurdling screams.

"Back to what I was saying, what happened next?"

* * *

><p>If you didn't realize, this fic is just full of pure crack, silly jokes &amp; lots of references and written mainly for amusement. Nothing is to be taken seriously. Italics are "the flashbacks" written in third person POV to make it easier for you readers; I'll always specify what time the flashbacks take place.<p>

I am having so much fun writing this. I was going to update this NEXT Friday, but I loved you guys so much.

And I did say that I didn't own anything right?


	3. Drunken Singing and Drama, Oh Joy

**Chapter 2: Drunken Singing and Drama, Oh Joy (Part I)**

**Friday Night – After Dinner – **

"_You have booze?" _

"_Yep."_

"_You intend to share, Nine?"_

"_Of course, it's lame to drink by yourself. It's common sense, King."_

* * *

><p>"King, I thought you were responsible." Queen scolded.<p>

"Same with you, Queen. I didn't think-" He retorted.

"Will you stop mentioning that?" Ace groaned. Obviously the moment was still fresh in his mind.

"What? It's the highlight of Nine's evening." King smirked.

"Why do I tell you everything?" Nine complained.

"Because it's bros befo-"

"DON'T SAY IT." Cater hissed, jerking her head in the direction of Queen. The said regal girl was glaring at her "royal counterpart", who merely shrugged his shoulders in slight apology.

"Ahem, back to the story." Kurasame commanded.

* * *

><p><em>And so the best friends took a couple of shots together. Soon, Jack, who could never refuse a good friend, joined them and they toasted for luck – to get the entirety of Class Zero to drink with them.<em>

_At least five minutes later, Jack vanished – only to come back, dragging Trey. Nine had grinned upon seeing Trey's scowl. _

"_Goodie two shoes." Nine teased._

"_Bane of our class's existence." The bow-wielder replied seriously. _

"_Oh come on, Trey. Lighten up." Jack slammed the former's back, causing the blond bow-wielder to lurch forward and glare at the cheery katana-user._

_And after loads of peer pressure, immature name-calling and a few not-so-well aimed punches, Trey was taking shots with them. And the quartet laughed at crude jokes._

"_Hey, I should get a piece of Sice, shouldn't I?" Nine barked._

_King merely stared. If it hadn't been for his sense of friendship toward the other, Nine would have found himself with a bullet lodged between the eyes. Nine knew that King was fond of Sice, but joked around anyway._

"_And do what? The sixty-nine position?" Jack joked._

* * *

><p>"The what?" Deuce interrupted upon awakening.<p>

Everyone uncomfortably coughed. No one had the heart to tell her. She was just too innocent.

"And I'll be leaving the next few lines of the conversation out, sir." King replied, glancing between Trey, Nine and Jack. The former three nodded in agreement.

"Should I ask why?" Kurasame sighed.

"I'd prefer you not, sir." The King of Class Zero answered sternly.

"Good. Carry on," said the instructor.

* * *

><p><em>That's when hell started…with singing. It was Jack who started.<em>

"_AND I WAS LIKE BABY BABY BABY."_

"_NOOOOO," screamed Cater, who entered the dormitory with covered ears. It was a known fact that Cater despised Bustin Jeiber or whatever his name was. And it was that particular song she hated the most. She had agreed that he had talent but he sounded too much like a teen whom had yet to hit puberty. "Anything but that song!"_

_Trey lifted his head off the table, thinking that was his cue to start. He made his way to Cater and took her hand into his._

"_YOU ARE MY FIRE. THE ONE DESIRE-"_

"_Is this a confession?" Nine shouted._

"_No, it's not." King mumbled before whacking his best friend. "He's just trying to outdo Jack now. Thanks to your insult to his ego."_

"_BELIEVE WHEN I SAY. I WANT IT THAT WAY."_

"_Ohhh, I love that song." And enter Cinque through the threshold. The girly girl of Class Zero stopped and stared as the grand doors behind her closed, her eyes locking onto the scene in front of her. The scent of alcohol was faint in the common room, but that wasn't what she was so upset about. Her hands flew up to her mouth. "Trey! I thought you loved me!"_

_There was dead silence. Trey was still holding onto Cater, who was at a loss of words. Nine was trying to hold in his snickers. Jack was grinning from ear to ear, off in his own little world. King facepalmed._

"_Gimme some!" Spotting the bottle and shot glasses on the table, Cinque pushed past Trey and Cinque to grab a newly-filled shot, downing it with a blink of an eye. She staggered back a bit when she swallowed, turning around dangerously._

"_QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART~"_

"_I'm not." Trey mumbled, his hold on Cater's hand loosening. He faced Cinque and sing-screamed. "SO WHY YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME?"_

"_Did you just-?" Cater was cut off when Nine shoved a shot glass into her hand._

"_Welcome to the club."_

_Staring it for a brief second, the shotgun girl shrugged her shoulders and raised it to her lips, draining the rim shot. When she swallowed, she made a face. "That burns."_

"_It's forty percent alcohol! This is nothing!" King coughed._

"_Psh, forty percent and you're all like this already." Nine smirked. "Weak sauce, all of you."_

"_What was that?" Trey's outburst amused the dragoon even more._

* * *

><p>"So you were all singing before we got there." Deuce repeated.<p>

Cater folded her arms. "Apparently."

Jack chuckled, causing the shotgun girl to shoot a glare in his direction.

"At least, you weren't there when King was singing _Careless Whisper_."

Kurasame stopped. "He didn't."

King nervously looked around, scratching the back of his head. Nine merely shrugged his shoulders, not even bothering to defend his friend.

"And you didn't dance like the saxophone guy, did you?" Kurasame questioned. He was met with silence, which he learned from earlier experiences meant yes. And all color drained from his face. Again, he couldn't unsee any of this. Neither could the conscious group of students after that statement, except for _one_.

"Instructor Kurasame, what's wrong?" asked Deuce.

"Nothing, nothing." The Icy Blade of Death answered a little too quickly, triggering a little pout on the innocent one's face. "Now, who is next?"

* * *

><p>Due to the crack-ish nature of this ficlet and the fact karaoke's involved in this chapter, it's just one hot mess. I'm sorry that it's a bit short. I'll be attending Sac-Anime this Friday to Sunday, so I won't be able to update then. I'll make it all up to you with a longer chapter four. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I apologize if it wasn't as funny as the previous two. D:<p> 


	4. This Place About To Blow

**Chapter 3: This Place About to Blow**

"_WHADDAYA MEAN THE NUTELLA'S GONE?" Cater screeched._

"_It was a free for all." Eight mumbled, "You left it in the lounge fridge!"_

"_WHO ATE THE NUTELLA?" screamed the shotgun girl._

_The fist fighter shrugged his shoulders and jerked a thumb over his shoulder. Out of curiosity, Trey, Nine and King glanced behind Eight and spotted a familiar spot in the corner. Out of anger, Cater looked over and stormed over there upon seeing an open jar in Cinque's possession._

"_OH HECK NO, CINQUE." If looks could kill, Cater would have killed number five already._

"_WOMAN, YOU TOOK TREY FROM ME. MUST YOU TAKE THE ONLY OTHER THING I CAN SEEK COMFORT FROM?" cried the mace-wielder, her makeup streaking down from her eyelids, staining her cheeks with black liner. _

"_IT'S MY NUTELLA."_

"_DON'T LET SEVEN HEAR YOU." Trey interrupted. "You know how she gets when she hears the word nutella! Etro, she is just like her mother, isn't she? Did you know that her mother, Lightning Farron, shares the same love of nutella she does?"_

_And before a cat fight could erupt and Trey could continue ranting on, someone burst had through the doors, bearing food. "GUYSSSSSSS. Guess who brought the fried chicken!" _

"_Rem! Not so loud." Machina hushed her. "I don't want us all to get caught."_

"_You're so paranoid, Kunagiri. Honestly, you're worse than Ace and Queen." Nine reprimanded, slapping him on the back. The male transfer student cocked an eyebrow and gave the class dragoon a 'you're kidding me' look._

"_And I take it you're going to try your luck with the class president tonight?" Machina questioned._

"_It's a feat to get her to drink." Rem reminded as she placed the basket of chicken down on a free table. "Trying to get into her skirt is going to be even more difficult. Good luck." _

"_REM?" King spat out the coca-cola & rum mixed drink back into his cup. "Y-you approve this?"_

"_It's a bit obvious that the class idiot is trying to get Queen's attention." Rem spoke as if it was common knowledge. "I mean, why wouldn't I? The bad boy falling for the goody, class president? It's just like the plot of a shoujo manga. Of course, I approve! I'm a sucker for shoujo manga romances!"_

* * *

><p>"That is <em>not<em> how the conversation happened!" Nine snapped at Trey.

"It was so!" Eight piped in. "Ask Rem!"

"Rem is a little occupied trying to get into Machina's pants." Queen so discreetly reminded everyone.

Nine didn't seem to hear Queen, or perhaps, he had chosen not to hear her. "Cater didn't flip out about her nutella! She sang about waffles, pancakes and French toast!"

"That was _after_." Cater muttered. "I sang the 'do you like waffles' song after Cinque & I reconciled."

"I can never be mad at my Cater-pillar!" Cinque exclaimed, her eyes tearing up again. "But Trey. Trey, why you do?"

"TREY, I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME."

"_AHEM_." Kurasame cleared his throat, drawing attention back to himself. "Does it really matter? Get on with the story."

"Right, Sir."

* * *

><p>"<em>Uh-huh, Rem. Like how you're a sucker for Machina's—" Eight never got to finish that sentence.<em>

_Cater and Cinque allowed themselves to set their differences aside in order to glare at Eight's direction. With magical bullets and a heavy mace coming at him, the fist-fighter was a tad too slow as he ducked under the table._

"_OI, OI, OI!" Nine yelled, throwing his arm up and creating a barrier. His barrier negated Cater's elemental blasts and stopped Cinque's mace in midair. He glared at them as he swallowed another shot. "NOT THIS TABLE, DAMMIT. I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE ALL THE ALCOHOL BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE GETS HERE."_

_Eight snickered from under the table. "By everyone, you mean Queenie. Nine likes Queenie."_

"_Shut the fuck up, Eight!" Nine shouted. "I'm saving your ass, ungrateful bastard! I should let Cater kill you!"_

_After pouring more rum into his soda cup, King waved his friend off as he put his feet on the table top. The usually stoic gunner was getting a little red in the cheeks and laughed. It was not just any laugh. King had his hands on his stomach and threw his head back in laughter._

_Everyone stopped and stared. Nine had let down the barrier. Cater put her gun away, fell to her knees and gaped. Cinque's jaw hit the proverbal floor; her mace actually did hit the floor, tearing through the carpet on the lounge floor. Trey was stuttering with his hand over his mouth. Rem held up a chicken leg to her leg, but did not bite into it as she too was staring at King. Machina watched and merely facepalmed. _

_King never laughed._

_Holy Etro, the time of Finis had arrived! Judgment Day was here! Hell was freezing over!_

_Who was this? And what had they done with their King?_

_Sice was not going to like this at all when she saw her best friend._

"_OIIIIIIII. Where's the booze, Nine? I need a drink!" yelled out Sice as she slammed the lounge doors open. And there she was! Apparently, she had known about the class idiot's plan all along. Machina winced at her volume, wanting to tell her to shut up but King seemed to be him to it._

"_WHY, SICE? DID YOU SEE THE COMMANDER WITH EMINA?"_

_Sice had already poured a doubleshot of vodka for herself and downed that one. She was working her second doubleshot when she glared at King._

"_NO. WORSE."_

"_Come on, you can tell your best friend!" King had scooted his chair closer to hers, invading her personal space. He placed a hand on her back, _

_Sice slapped his arm, "You're being too affectionate. You're drunk."_

"_And you're cursing more."_

_She was holding her third doubleshot._

_Something was definitely bothering her._

"_Sice, what's wrong?"_

"_Were you about to confess to the Commander again?"_

_Everoyne gasped. Sice gulped down her third shot, slammed the glass onto the alcohol table and grabbed her best friend by the collar. "FUCK YOU, KING. TELL THE FUCKING WHOLE WORLD WHY DON'T YOU."_

_King chuckled. "You blink when you say fuck, you know that right?"_

"_No shit, Sherlock." Sice snapped, the alcohol hitting her much faster than it was everyone else._

"_What happened?"_

"_Sice, it has to do with the Commander, right? You didn't see him with Emina."_

"_NO. IT'S FUCKING WORSE THAN THAT."_

"_If it's not Emina, how can it be worse? Come on, tell us."_

_Sice whispered a name. Eyes widened in disbelief._

"_Excuse me?"_

_Then, the scythe-wielder slammed her hands against the table, getting up to scream, "I KNOW RIGHT. I FUCKING LOST TO KAZUSA, THE CREEPY ASS FUCK—"_

* * *

><p>"That's enough, Sice. Thank you."<p>

"O-okay, Commander."

There was an awkward silence that followed. Kurasame shielded his face with his palm. Sice was turning a bright pink. Whatever assumption he had about Sice being drunk when she said that was correct. He didn't dare ask what she saw. Neither would want to scar the rest of the beloved class.

"Anyone else want to pick up?"

"Well," Seven began, "After that, Sice was drunk enough to kiss me. That happened when I walked in. I heard Sice yelling so I had gone into the common room."

And it was common knowledge that Seven had a bit of a lady-crush on Sice. Kurasame buried his hands further into his hand. He had always known he'd be dealing with cadets, often forgetting that these cadets were younglings, ready to experiment and with raging hormones.

"You blurred the lines between friendship and lesbianism, did you, Seven?"

"The same way you and Kasuza blurred that line and homosexuality." Seven deadpanned.

"Touché." Their commander mumbled, falling back into silence and waited for her to continue.

* * *

><p>I had a bit of writer's block. I am terribly sorry. Tumblr RPs and real life have been taking too much of my freedom. I apologize if this chapter didn't live up to your expectations. I hope I'll be able to update faster next time.<p> 


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